Questions for the Candidates

1. Since our nation runs on coffee can we erect a statue of Juan Valdez on the National Mall? I just think it is time we recognize and give props to 100% Colombian.

2. Are you cool with me and a few local farmers making our own “ethanol” like uncle Jesse did in that Duke’s Of Hazard episode?

3. I think Nascar ought to be our national pastime instead of baseball, don’t you?

4. For every 10 cents gas goes up during your administration, I think you and 10 members of congress (your choice) should get to spend 10 days thinking about it at Guantanamo Bay. Think of it as an intensive “time out”. How bout it?

5. I like stuff with trans fat in it. Leave it alone. Really, my fries taste different every time I go to Wendy’s. Could you talk to the surgeon general about this?

6. The White House is to the federal government what my parsonage is to our church. I have to pay social security on the the fair market value of the parsonage. Don’t you think you should have to pay social security on the fair market value of White House?

7. I know this could never happen and is only hypothetical, but if the election comes down to one state, one county, and we have to start counting ballots by hand, can we settle the election with a cage match between you guys? Ron Paul could referee. I also think “paper, rock, scissors” is an acceptable way to settle matters.

8. Can I be your Secretary of State?

9. Would you consider making Cottage Grove your “Western White House?”

10. If I say, “I like Jr.” who pops into your mind? A. Dale Earhardt, Jr. B. John F. Kennedy, Jr. C. Jr. Samples Important Note: If you don’t know who Jr. Samples is you cannot be my president.

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Published in: on August 6, 2008 at 10:02 pm  Comments Off on Questions for the Candidates  
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